Asking for Success

I watched some great work this weekend by a number of our teams and the end result was not always in their favor, but what I did get to enjoy was some crazy work by kids testing the limits of what they are capable of, but what is a bit saddening recently is hearing of parents talk a good game about wanting their players to develop, but who haven't yet fully embraced what it means to become the best one can be, not THE best, but the best one YOU can be.

As a parent, would you ever have the temerity to go to your child's teacher and ask this from them, "Hey, you know Billy/Susie has never had an A on a test.  Would you mind if on the next big test you gave them an A?"

Of course you wouldn't, that's absolutely absurd.  Then why, as a parent, are you willing to seek out the right league, the right team, or the right tournament just to allow them to artificially succeed?

Why wouldn't you do the exact same thing you would do for them in sports that you would do in school, "Hey Billie/Susie, you know in order to get that A, you're going to really put in some effort.  No one's just going to give you an A."

Would you ever say to your child. "Hey, you know As are the only thing that matters and if you don't get As, then you're really not successful."

Of course you wouldn't, that's absolutely absurd.  Then why, as a parent, are you willing to look at your child and tell them winning is the only thing, which is important in competition, not the act of competition itself or testing the limits of where you are as an individual?

Stop asking for success for your child.  Look at the body of their work, their effort to achieve it and support them all the way.  Everyone wants to be victorious, but NO child determines that winning is the end all of competition without help from those who are teaching them.  If your child walks off the field believing they have failed only because the net result wasn't in their favor, then you might want to start asking someone to give you some As in parenting because you aren't putting in the effort right now to earn them.