Changing Expectations

Over the last two weeks all of our U9 girls teams have been really "clicking".  They have been clicking so well, it has been one of those occasions where the coaches become a spectator of sort.  The one thing which becomes a problem when you become a spectator is you begin to get caught up in fandom and forget who you are watching play.

This Saturday I had to put down the clipboard, stop tracking all those things, which the girls normally get excited about and become their coach and most understanding supporter again; they just weren't living up to those expectations I was beginning to have for them.  It's something we as coaches and parents of young players must constantly keep in mind as we go through the ups and downs of the growth of these little people.

We were in a match, this Saturday, which I knew we should easily have navigated, but it was like everything blew up and everything they knew went out the door.  It was less than five minutes into the match, while I was chatting with the opposing club coordinator, that I decided to lay down the clipboard and start doing my best to cheer them on.  Things ended up not in our favor and as we moved immediately on to our next match, I talked to a parent who saw what I saw and I had already made my choice that it was just going to be one of those days and we should all wipe away any expectations and just work to make sure the girls did their best and continued to pump them up.

Funny thing happened, the next game, they did what kids do, completely flipped their switch and played incredibly against an opponent who was more talented, more physical, and one who a few years ago annihilated us...one of those clubs who when I mentioned them later anecdotally to another parent, who wasn't there, rolled their eyes way to the side and said, "Ohhhh, that club...".

Final was a 1-1 draw and both girls teams knew it as they came up to the line to shake hands.  My comment to our girls, "We ended in a draw, it must've been a good game."

I always like these moments of clarity, which remind me what we're doing here every weekend.  It's not for us, it's to let them play for better or worse and to make sure there's an appreciative smile waiting for them.  Of course I was honest with them and let them know what I saw, which was they looked a little off and a little tired, but that I was okay with that.  If I were to come down on them, like I have seen so many other coaches and parents do, what would it have served other than to drown their desire to play again and enjoy the game.

I can only hope as I continue to grow with this group, I never forget why I am here, what I am doing with them, and have the ability to change my expectations to whatever these great kids are giving to me every time they play.